Aastha JainBefore you walk on that aisle, say your vows to each other, and say “I do” to each other. There are many things that you’ve to consider and talk about. Times have changed drastically. The things that you’ve to talk about today didn’t exist 20 to 30 years ago. You may have a vague idea of the things to consider before getting married. Maybe there are things you’ve talked about like, “Who’ll sleep on the right side of the bed?” or “Who would water the plants?”
But these are only general topics that you and your partner have discussed with each other. In today’s time, every little thing matters. This is because you both deserve a real relationship that’s based on truth and sincerity, among other important elements.
Years ago, people remained in failed marriages either because of their kids or because they had nothing else. You can’t expect this today, you or your partner would want to leave if the relationship becomes unhealthy. If you want to prevent this situation, you’ve to discuss many important things before you decide on your wedding dress.
Throughout this article, we’ve mentioned a list of such topics of discussion that you need to do.
12 Things To Consider Before Getting Married
Here are the 12 most important things to know before getting married.
#1. Married Life
You’ve to think about what your married life would look like. So many couples these days are deciding not to get married. Ask yourself why you want to get married. Don’t look at other married couples and think that that’s what you want.
Yes, from a distance, every marriage looks beautiful. But marriage also means that there’ll be more promises, relations, and compromises. Think about it deeply and then decide if you’re ready for it.
#2. Love
If you’re doing a love marriage, you need to rethink the love you have for your partner. This love that you’ve for them may change over time. Change doesn’t mean that you’ll love them any less. But that’s what you’ve to be sure of.
And love doesn’t have to be one-sided here. You and your partner should love each other equally. On some days, it may feel difficult to love them equally, but even then, the feeling should still be there.
#3. Communication
One of the things to consider before getting married is communication. A couple that has communication difficulties will obviously not last for long. So, you need to look at your relationship dynamic to see if you can communicate with each other or not.
Communicating effectively means that you can ask, share, and tell each other anything that you want to. Another important element in healthy communication is the ability to understand each other. Simply sharing something won’t help if your partner doesn’t even understand your situation.
#4. Trust
Marriage is different from a relationship on many levels. Like love, trust also works both ways. You can’t fully trust them if they don’t do it too. When you’re in a relationship, you’re still learning to have that trust. When it comes to marriage, you should both trust each other equally.
#5. Intimacy
A successful marriage needs intimacy. You and your partner should feel intimate with each other. Intimacy isn’t only about the physical relationship that you’ve with each other. In your married life, you’ll also need some emotional intimacy with each other.
#6. Respect
Respect is an essential element that you’ll need in your married life. You and your partner should have mutual respect for each other. You should respect what they’re saying to you. Make sure that the decisions that you make for one another come from a place of respect.
There may be times when you’d feel disrespected. During those moments, you’ll have to point out to them why you felt that way. Again here, with healthy communication, you’ll be able to sort out such issues.
#7. Financial Discussions
Discussing financial issues is one of the top things to consider before getting married. Money matters break relationships very easily. So, from the get-go, you should’ve discussions about finances. You both should start thinking about investments and savings.
These discussions would not be easy to do but they’re extremely important. All couples do things differently. Therefore, you don’t really need advice from someone else here. It’s only you and your partner who’ve to sit together and talk about them.
#8. Kids
Here comes the most important of the things to consider before getting married. You love kids and so does your partner. But, are you both ready to have your own kids? You’ve to be on the same page here. Having a kid is a huge responsibility and you’ve to be fully prepared for that.
You can’t always count on your partner to handle this responsibility. If you’re both deciding to have a kid, then you’re equally going to be there for that kid.
#9. Friendship
The bond of a friendship is so unique that it’s really one of the most beautiful relationships that exist. Before you get married to your partner, you should have that companionship with them.
Analyze your relationship here and ask yourself if you’re as good friends as your lovers. Do you hang out with them? Do you discuss your favourite movies with each other? Or do you both take part in fun activities together?
#10. Life Skills
Learning life skills are the main things to consider before getting married. When you’re in a relationship, you may go to your partner’s house to cuddle and watch movies all day long.
But being married to your partner means that you both can’t cuddle the whole day. There are tasks that you’ve to do such as cleaning, laundry, doing dishes, and so on.
So, it becomes important that you know such life skills before you get married. You may learn these skills by living together with each other before you get married. Moving in with them may make you both more responsible.
#11. Forgiveness
Yes, during the first few days of your relationship, it may feel that they’re perfect. But the reality is that you both have flaws. There are some things you do that irritate and anger them and vice versa.
For a healthy marriage, you’ve to find a common ground. You’ve to have a forgiving nature. You both have to be calm with each other and see what’s really the issue. When you’re in an argument, it may feel difficult to understand everything. But, with a little patience, you’ll know what you’ve to do.
#12. Personal Identity and Care
Marriage is that bond where two souls become one. That’s all true in romantic terms. However, coming to reality, you need to have a personal identity. You’re not just going to be their wife after getting married. You’ve your own self that you should know and take care of.
With the beautiful feeling of love, it may feel easier to forget about yourself. But to have an effective marriage, you need to know what’s your identity outside of that married life.
In Conclusion
Married life comes with many responsibilities on your shoulders. There are new relations that you’ve to form with his family. If you’ve never lived with each other, then that’s something that you’ve to be aware of. Awareness here means that, living together as a married couple would look a lot different from what you’ve imagined. So, you should know some life skills because they’re essential in married life.
Apart from that, a healthy marriage needs love, respect, trust, and an effective form of communication.
